Quote:
Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge
if that was my dream my T would say it sounded like wish fulfillment!!
I want to do the work, but it hurts. last week I dreamed about a young man who was in a 1930's hospital and had to be spoon fed by his nurse. After a while his powerlessness was unbearable and he decided to go on a hunger strike - but in time he realized it was either give in and take it, or die - so he gave in.  All the rest of the night I kept repeating this sad anecdote to myself in my sleep. T will hear it next week... she's not gonig to like it.
but you know what? To tell her, I have to GO THERE, so I am going.
Hang on, Zoo, we will all be pulling for you too.  |
SAWE, why do you say your T won't like your dream? To me it doesn't seem sad but hopeful. I'm sure it felt sad to you, since you describe it that way, but to me it seems like hitting bottom and realizing you want to live. I can see parts of myself and my story in that dream. I'm just wondering what it meant to YOU.
I have a feeling I might be in the worst part of the trauma work right now. My T said that by the end of summer we might be done. I'm assuming she means be done with the detailed recounting of the story. Somehow, knowing that this is the worst part actually makes me feel a little better. It's so painful, almost unbearable, but if I can convince myself that is won't get any worse than this, I can see that I might be able to get through it.
I know mindfulness and being in the moment would help me a lot right now, but I just can't seem to remember to do that.
__________________
She left pieces of her life behind her everywhere she went.
"It's easier to feel the sunlight without them," she said.
~Brian Andreas