Bama, I am really sorry you had to go through all of this again. But to tell the truth, something inside of me had already let me know you were back at it again but I was not going to bring it up unless you did. Like they say it is your life. As far as being free, I am still not free and never will be. It sticks with me every day the thought of running away and using again. That is the nature of addiction you soo. It will always be with us. If you think it is not worth staying clean and sober, that is your choice. But try and look at yourself the way you have been while using and the guilt and shame and fear of people knowing all about what has been going on has done to you. Think about how you will feel about yourself knowing you had 10 months in and now are right back out there again. I may seem to be coming across hard and yes I may be. Sometimes that is what it takes for others to get their eyes opened up for real and see their life. I wish you the best and you know if you ever need to talk, I am here for you.

Allan