Splitimage, I am sorry you are having a tough time.
It is very ironic that the Doctors in this world are deliberately "trained" to dissociate for their survival....imagine that. They detatch emotion from their work so they do not become "too invested". However, I have found from working with them, most are quite caring and I have seen many cry like babies because they felt helpless when trying to help certain patients. But the patient never gets to see it.
Also, if he insists on seeing you, he is concerned and wants to make sure you are safe and ok. But, it is unfortunate that they feel that we should not see them as "human".
Not defending, just sharing some things I have learned from working with Doctors for many years.
I have also noticed, the times they act the coldest, or the most distracted, is when they are feeling the most emotion....they are struggling to stay distanced.
But that doesn't make us feel any better when we are sitting in the "patient" chair and feeling like we have egg on our face.
I hope all goes well for you....safe hugs and much encouragement your way...