Thanks to everyone here for the wise and tremendously insightful responses. And I can agree with every single one of you, even though your posts talk about many disparate solutions.

I think I am at a stage where I have done quite a lot of working through, with several past therapists, and at this point I am looking at what it is that I can bring, outside of therapy, into moving myself forward. Denial, of course, can never be the solution and we have to work through the thick of it, in therapy, as many of you say. But there comes a point when we realise that what had happened happened; it is part of me now and I can't undo it. Now it is my responsibility to find the good things that make life worth living. No therapist can do that for me.

And that's where I am now. I haven't worked through everything completely, but I got to the stage where I went back to the place where I had once been abused a very long time ago and I now confronted my past abuser. He is alive and well, even successful, and has done the same to others since. And this is the world I still have to live in; it is unjust and it shouldn't be like this. But still, beyond therapy, it is just me there and the world. And at this point I just think, I will have to look after me and make sure I make the most of my life. So to put the initial question differently, how do you make this happen? What do you do outside of therapy that helps you on the way to let go, what's the energy that thrusts you forward and helps you find peace?