Wendy, I am right there with you. I can't accept that I will keep falling into a deep depression for the rest of my life. It has been going on for over 20 years. I am now 37. I am not sure I can keep this up much longer. But I hope you keep going, one foot in front of the other. You are a wonderful person and would be sorely missed, not just by us here at PC but by others in your life irl too. I wish for us both that things get better and we do find the acceptance we need to keep going.