After calling my T 3 times in less than 24 hours, I decided I had to stop. That was yesterday afternoon. I have to say, I'm not doing too great, but I'm pretty sure I'm not doing any worse than I would be if I'd have let myself keep calling her at will.

In some ways just knowing I CAN call her, but telling myself that she needs a break from zooropa, it helps. I have to learn to stand on my own 2 feet eventually, probably sooner than later, so no time like the present to start trying it out, right?

I just want so badly to be able to tell myself I'm okay and to really feel that coming from within me and not have to get it from T or any outside source. I want that SO much, but I'm not there yet. It's frustrating.