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Elysium · Aug 07, 2010, 09:24 PM

Hi Hippieandy...

I'm sorry to hear that your friend has this disorder. It's such a scary and un-nerving thing to cope with....especially when you don't understand it. And it's hard to understand it if you have never experienced it.

I live with Depersonalization as a symptom of another disorder, so I will try to explain it as best I can in a way that may help you understand a little better.

Depersonalization Disorder is a disorder in how one perceives themselves in relation to their physical body and the world. Have you ever had a moment, when you're just waking up, and you're really relaxed, and for a brief moment you don't know who you are or where you are? Or you wonder if you're dreaming because everything is still so cloudy because you're still half asleep? This is similar to the perception that people with this disorder have, only it's without the sleepiness. We tend to feel disconnected from our bodies....like we are not real or our bodies are not really real. These perceptions can make us question reality, although we do not lose touch with reality. We are able to know that these perceptions are not real, but the fact that we FEEL them, and experience them so strongly makes us very anxious, scared, and confused because usually when a person FEELS something that their body senses, or we get a message from our sensory nervous system (i.e. the water is hot, the sky is blue, the sandpaper is rough) we can usually trust that these sensory perceptions are accurate.

With this disorder.....our bodies and our perceptions of what we sense and feel seem distant....not real....dreamy....like we are lost under a blanket of fog and we can't make out the light from the lighthouse. I hope this makes some sense.

There is also something called Derealization, which is something folks who experience Depersonalization can experience as well. It is a very similar detachment only it is a detachment from our environment and what is around us. An example....sometimes I will be driving, and I will get the perception that the windshield is just a screen and the things through the window are merely a movie playing on the screen....I will start to think that, if I just ripped a hole through the screen, that behind it would be just blackness. Or, sometimes when I look at my house, or any other building, my mind perceives that it is not real. I have to challenge that perception by actually going up to the building and touching the building to "ground" myself back in reality. Again....we are aware that the perception is screwy and unrealistic, but it is so strong that it can overpower reality.

It's NOT a psychosis or anything like that. In fact, everybody experiences perceptions like this from time to time; for example, de ja vue. What makes it a disorder is how much distress it causes in a person's life, and to what degree, or extreme, they experience these skewed perceptions.

Sometimes it can be a nice thing though, believe it or not. Sometimes, when I am experiencing derealization symptoms, colors will become very intense and just pop out at you and everything looks a bit prettier for a while.

So, Depersonalization is a disorder of perception and how a person views themselves in relation to their body/person. In an extreme case, a person can feel completely disconnected from their physical body, as if it where merely an article of clothing that they could just take off.

The best way to be there for your friend is to support him/her if they discuss it with you. Even though it may scare you, it's okay to let them know that. And it's okay to say that they can tell you if they feel funny, and you don't have to do anything except help them realize that they are safe and encourage them to challenge their perceptions. Sometimes holding on to an ice cube can help me feel more connected because the sensation of the cold can overpower the faulty perceptual noise.

Hope this helps and doesn't confuse you more.

Thanks for asking!!