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Aug 07, 2010, 11:07 PM
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Member Since: Jan 2007
Location: U.S.
Posts: 10,383
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions
At first, I was feeling pretty good about expressing myself so openly to T, so that he could get a better understanding....so I succeeded in that.
His response, though, was a bit unsettling....I'll repost it here:
MUE,
Your recall of what led up to your apt. and what took place during it gives me a much better appreciation for where you were and how you were affected. I wish I would have known this at the time or been better at helping you express it. I have a very strong sense of what you are feeling right now toward me.
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MUE, how was your T's response unsettling? It sounds like he now understands so much better than before where you were at the time he threatened you with termination. I didn't get to read your letter to him so perhaps I'm not getting the full picture. I think his response sounds OK! It sounds like you two were on completely different pages when he made the threat. Although he didn't say it, I have the feeling that if he had understood better then, he wouldn't have threatened you. I think he could learn a lot from this!
Quote:
Originally Posted by mixedup_emotoins
Although it seems as though he is taking part ownership of not knowing, I know quite well that I am the one who has to speak up and tell him what I'm feeling. He's not a mind reader.
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Yes, but he is the professional therapist, and he should make sure he knows where his client is at before he does something as major as threaten termination.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mixeup_emotions
I guess I'm just disappointed that when T came on so harshly on Saturday, that I didn't stop him and tell him what I needed from him. I was too shocked at what I was hearing, seeing and sensing from him that I just sunk....
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MUE, I think you're being really hard on yourself. The relationship is two-way. It's not all your responsibility to make things go well with your T. Your T has to do his part too, for example, stopping himself before he comes on so harshly, pausing to check his assumptions before he threatens termination, asking you for clarification on how you're feeling, etc. These are basic communication skills. This is not all on you. 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions
I am sure many, many clients aren't able to express themselves so openly and honestly...or even recognize what it is that they want/need/feel....and to not even give it a chance - responding to my recount of events on Friday night - with such distaste....is on him, not me.
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?? What do you mean he responded to your recount of events with distaste? That sounds terrible. Was this in his response to you? (Sorry, I didn't see it--I came to the thread after you deleted your first post.)
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"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships."
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