I don't even understand my brain anymore. My anxiety is messing with my mind so much. I am now too afraid to chew gum, because it so often triggers depersonalization. What?! Chewing gum is not supposed to set off an episode of feeling like I'm not in my body. Hyper-aware of the sensations on my own tongue, I panic; and unless I calm down fast, my consciousness slips out, terrified my body will forget how to breathe in my absence. Or, I'll be going about business as usual when suddenly and gradually, everything becomes manically fast and sluggish, cacophonous and muted, all at once. It's like an accelerated, slow motion, silent roaring of my whole world. Therapy gets me nowhere; my meds are at a dead end. And I just keep falling down.