Oh my gosh! Where to begin? Well, that's WAY too much pressure to be under. You've come to the right place. I know I can only offer the advice I know, but hopefully, collectively, you can find some peace of mind and a place to start from. I believe part of the issues begin with your mother's recent increase in drinking and marijuana use. That can often let bottled up emotions bubble over in irrational ways. She may in fact be going through a idlife crisis, but she also may be losing a battle with mental illness, as it becomes more difficult as one gets older to battle it alone. She sounds like she might have possibly undiagnosed bipolar depression of somesort. MArriage counseling does sound a good first step, but it has to be something she wants to do. I don't know if leaving out more family photos of happier time when you were younger might help her come to her senses or what, just a thought. I would try sending this as a personal message to Doc. John for more advice, as well as seeking mroe insight from other members here(waiting for responses can be tough sometimes, as I should know) So I wouls offer more adivce, but it's difficult to tell you trhings that would be helpful if in fact your mothers is so stubborn to see that she needs outside help for her problems. Good luck! =)