garden gal, I echo what gelfling said if you need to call the crisis line please do that,I too have had days and nights where I felt like I didn't want to be here anymore,I also have had to deal with changing psycharist over and over again. Every time I get comfortable with one they leave and another is assigned it's really frustrating I now have a case manager and she helps me a lot. I'm glad your sharing your feelings and thoughts with someone else it's not good to keep things like that to yourself. Please say a sincere prayer and tell you therapist everything your going through. We love you here and wouldn't want anything to happen to you. I don't know you but I can definately can identify with your pain. keep sharing and stay prayed up.