I don't have amazing insight, but I do have some hugs

One of the things that has helped me go to therapy in the past is that if I cancel with less than 24 hours notice, I have to pay the full fee. I hate to throw money away, so there has been more than one occasion when I went to therapy just to not waste my money. Every time this happened, I was really glad I went! Maybe you would feel that way too, if you went tomorrow zooropa. On those occasions, I always ended up feeling better when I left T's office than when I went in. When I am the most in need in help is often when I feel least like going to therapy. But when I am most in the need for help, T seems to "perform" (do his job) really well. That's what he is there for, after all.