Totally agree with vjdragonfly. Regret to say I've heard some doozies directed my way too. They hurt. No two ways about it. They truly don't understand what they say, or even the hurt it brings. Though a very amicable end, I did bring these up in the process of divorce. He thought he was "joking". I let him know, no, definitely not funny. To make light of what I'd beat myself up for years and years and years over? I've got a big sense of humor, but that kind of pain? Nothing funny about it, even with the darkest sense of humor.

It is hard for those who are with us. No denying that. Sometimes they lash out. It hurts, omg, it hurts. On one hand, it's understandable in that they don't understand how it affects us, but... Has she educated herself on the subject? That can be a big help, but it's also something that someone may not think they're able to deal with. Where is she in this? It can help in understanding her comments.