tree, thank you so much for that. I have this image in my mind of me curling up on Ts couch and kind of resting there. I have no idea how that would go over with her, but it feels good to picture it. I would like to just be with T and know we are ok and know that we can breathe together in the middle of all this, that it's ok to take a break or to look back at where we've been.

I push myself SO hard in therapy. Sometimes I get angry and frustrated and accuse my T of pushing me, but in reality most of the pushing comes from me. I haven't learned to be gentle with myself, or to love myself. I hope I CAN learn that, someday.