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You sound like a wonderful young lady and I am very sorry that there are so many changes happening in your life all at once.
Try not to take this the wrong way, but you are FAR too involved in your parent's personal relationship. I fully understand how this affects you, but you are much too informed on things that should remain between your father and your mother. The parent(s) that is including you in this informational loop is doing you a huge disservice. It has changed your relationship with each of your parents permanently, none of this can be "unlearned" and your role in the family has changed dramatically (as you are already seeing by the changes in these relationships).
I know you have everyone's best interest at heart, but the best thing you can do is set up some boundaries. Let your parents know that you don't belong in the middle. Let them know you're concerned and be supportive within your boundaries.
If either of your parents need professional help (and frankly it sounds like they both do at this point) they have to seek it on their own. I would also recommend that you seek some help yourself. It was beyond unfair for your father to bring this to you. I've been married a long time, a few years longer than your parents, if my husband brought our personal problems to any of our children, not only would my trust in him be permanently damaged but I would never respect him again.
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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