I just want to say thanks again for the support in this thread. I am on another site with mental health groups and me posting the same initial post has had a terribly different result. It's ended in another member giving me a hardarse religious rant. When I called her out on it she eventually apologised in the thread and I accepted. Then she sent me a PM really trying to nail me. Very nasty and very manipulative to do that, especially when I am talking about my life being on the line. Needless to say I'm getting the thread closed and I'll cease contact with her. Hard lessons. But at least on line when someone does this I can just make those assertives decision and unless she comes back under another name I'm rid of her. I was having a better day today and now I'm having a dip, which is natural - but I won't let her get me down.