Every time I get into a depressive mood I live with a near constant state of fear that my husband of 13 years is going to finally get sick of me "this time" and leave. I can't work, I can't function (almost all childcare, housework etc falls on him, he usually ends up taking unpaid time off work), I mope and cry and get angry a lot; additionally I'm expensive to care for (meds, psychiatrist etc), I find *myself* obnoxiously annoying, how can he not? I know, if he hasn't left in 13 years of dealing with this, why would I expect different "this time" right?

Right now in the middle of it all he's off to Arizona on an unavoidable business trip - I'm terrified that he just won't come home.