Hi Tallguy, I have read through much of what has been written. I too would suggest taking a look at ACOA ( adult children of alcoholics ) online. You might find it very useful. I went to ACOA meetings 20 years ago and it did help me a great deal. Sometimes when our heart has been emotionally injured, we acutely develop the thinking and rational part of us. It can, for many, be their way of coping. The mind can often work doubly hard because the heart is so injured. There are always ways to heal the heart from past abuses. I am so sorry that you had a difficult home life as a child. And I wish you the very best.