In Response to your situation and to others comments to you, I have some personal information to share. I believe your wife is having and affair, either emotional and/or sexual. It happens. Yes even after 30 years of marriage. High school reunions can bring up old memories or "what if" questions that have laid dormant for decades. With the children gone from the house, her focus is not on them as the 24 hour care-giver anymore, a new sense of freedom and focus on her own life's satisfaction, including her marriage,especially her sexual and intimate side of her health, that these things can happen. I would say there probably was something lacking between the two of you over the years. i would guess it might have been the intimate vulnerable connection via love-making that had not occurred. A woman needs to feel that her lover/husband will fight for her, give his heart to her, let her see his most vulnerable side, stand by her, love her, protect her. The two of you needed to feel that connection together that no one can describe until you experience together. I suggest you get some good reading material, see a counselor, and focus on what makes a woman lust over her man, if you want to get her back. Get some help soon!! Let her know you are getting help and trying to find out why you lost her. If you put the focus on you, she will not get defensive, and be more receptive to listening to your ideas when that point comes. If she is having a sexual affair with someone she considered a respectful person in high school, even if they didn't date, you have your work cut out for you. That bond never goes away if there was mutual respect. REconnections like this, especially if he really knows, understands, and is good at knowing how to connect with a woman during lovemakeing...I'll just say it could be the most incredible experience she could encounter. So much so, that it made her leave her life behind. Different hormones are released during affair sex, but additionally, her connection from the past with this person makes it different than a random affair. The only hope for you is to seek professional counseling soon!!!!! READ, LEARN, be honest with yourself, and go after her!!!! Hopefully she will consent to going to counseling and reading and learning herself on what just happened to her in the past year. Remember men and women think totally differently. Our brains are different. Neither is better or worse than the other. BUT we need to learn about the other sex, how they think, interpret things, desire love, etc. to understand what it takes to keep a marriage together. She needs to learn too. I'm sure you have things that have frustrated you over the years about her. It is a two way street, but you have to take the lead and show her how its done. Sometimes, people can love each other, though, but can't live together. Hopefully that is not the case with the two of you. The biggest thing you might encounter is hatred, jealousy, etc towards this other man. This will be a turn off for her. Talk with your counselor about this. Good Luck! You know it's the best investment and education you can give yourself. And hopefully you will be together again. If not, there is a very lucky woman out there waiting to meet you. Good Luck Sir!