so i opened up to my dh (or notsodh as its been lately) about several of the issues i/we've been having. i don't think it was a good idea. at first he was pretty numb and unresponsive, then for a week or so he started to talk a bit and even try and work on things, then last night i mentioned that it might be hard for me even with his trying because i was so far gone. i said i had thought about the d word and he shut down completely. we have both been diagnosed with bipolar within the last year (i'm still not sure how accurate the diagnoses are for either of us) he had been coming around to the idea of therapy, but i don't think its still an option after last nights talk. i get so frustrated because sometimes i don't see a future with him and sometimes i miss what we had so much.. but most of the time i am just so used to being the person i have been and thinking of him when i run errands or go to hang out with a friend i feel bad for leaving him at home alone. he's so much a part of my life, even if it feels like he drives me crazy.