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Long story but will summarize - I really am worried and love my daughter and grand children. She left school at 18, got pregnant by a guy she new a couple of months and left out of state with him. We only met him once, he seemed very charming, but turns out some things don't seem truthful. Apparently had a miscarriage. Stayed with him. Went to see where they lived and they were in a trailer in the midwest, no one cleaned or picked up the trash there. They got evicted. She got pg. again and gave birth to a boy. They moved into an apt. Went to visit, he created drama/trouble for me for coming with gifts. He yelled at my daughter and pointed his finger in her face. He took her away and left the apt. so we could not visit. They moved to Missouri, ended up living in someone's basement. According to the woman they were staying with, my daughter didn't get much food and her husband was gone a lot and only brought her fast food once in a while. She was extremely anemic at time of birth and almost needed transfusions. We knew very little as she didn't communicate much at all. Person they stayed with said they felt sorry for my daughter, but the relationship was "sick," and the lady was afraid of him. I told her she was there and could call social services if she was worried, but she said she feared to do so. Daughter then had another baby, moved to Vegas. Got preg. again so child #3. They moved back to the midwest by his parents. First married Wiccan, then joined Catholic Church, then dropped that. Now she is living in a house back in the original state they moved to, Iowa. Went to visit and her husband looks disheveled, hasn't shaved, cannot keep jobs and won't make eye contact with me or my husband. He is obsessed with race car driving. He seems to resent our existence. He alternatively seems angry or zoned out.Her husband also bought a large gun - I think a 44 or something bigger than 9mm. This worries me. Her husband also has a long rap sheet of arrests mainly for traffic and doesn't have a valid license. Went to visit and he has a sprained arm, allegedly for hitting some guy's mirror on his car because he was cut off in traffic. He also has to come up with money to go to jail for not having a valid license and being a habitual offender. My daughter is trying to maintain her sanity with the children, but I think she's in denial. We have regular contact weekly via phone (we live away from her out of state). Her husband let the son come to visit us, but the son, age 9, keeps offering that his father is a good father and feeds them and is very, very nice. This is odd that a child would approach us and be telling us these things. He did so after his dad called him upstairs and then he came down and told me this. He also repeats this randomly when he is with my husband or myself. We have never said a bad word about the father since we want to maintain contact with the family. My daughter has no job, tried to go to class to be a nurse. Now she has no internet service and needs a printer. So it may be that she cannot take a class this fall. She also has no job or money of her own. Husband doesn't help much with the kids. She needed money for gas and when my husband (her Dad) came to visit he bought all the kids school supplies. Daughter's husband didn't offer to pay and he said he only had $2 to give her for gas money. There appears to probably be a shortage of money and psychological safety in the household. They have 2 dogs, a cat, 3 hamsters to feed as well. They had a stray cat in the garage they were feeding, but it turned up dead somehow and is now laying outside the garage. My daughter just acts like it's life as usual and I feel she has no power. My Husband agrees. I don't know how to talk to her because it seems as if she is completely under the spell of her husband (or control.). Please offer insights. We don't know if this is mental illness, drug abuse or what. I don't know what to say to my daughter since she seems afraid to address the issues. Thanks.
Last edited by wanttoheal; Aug 09, 2010 at 05:46 PM.
Reason: Added trigger icon
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