dear Michael, I wish i had something pithy and supportive to say,,, i just took the time to read this whole thread, and much of it resonates with me, as i have revealed in our chats. Let me just say, that you are welcome in any chat i am in, and you may believe that whatever i say is what i believe to be true, at that moment. on the other hand, i don't see why it's any more impressive that you are seeking to better yourself, than that any of us are. yes, perhaps you are the lucky one, to not be tormented by emotions, memories of pains that never heal,,, how ever it is, welcome to my world. please feel free to be as honest with me as you would want me to be with you,, i need both kinds of feedback too. i truely hope you find some way to gain mastery over the rage, i know it is not easy, nor quick, but there is always Practice Practice Practice,, be seein' you soon, i hope,,, Gus