((((((((((tryingtobeme))))))))))
I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. Is there anything you enjoy doing that you can do to take your mind off things for a while? Painting, taking a walk, reading, taking a hot bath...anything! Even continuing to post on here is doing something, and I'm glad you've posted.

Please try to take things day by day. Things will not stay this way, they WILL get better. Hang in there. You're a strong person and you can get through this.