Lauru: Way to fight the good fight against impulsivity! Hope you get in to see T tomorrow and can get some help going for you. Depression is a *****...

Me: Now I'm feeling confused and unsure of what to do. My dad is in another state going through Chemo and who knows how long he will live but he has offered to let me come stay there and *possibly* have my own room. It would mean having to adjust to a lot of things and A LOT of triggers but at least I would have somewhere I know I wont be kicked out of and I would be there if he needed me. I think I have the $$ to make the drive and he said he would help me if I needed him to, I just dont know how getting my psych stuff xsfrd or how it would effect my disability claim to move states. I do know my ex would probably hate having me back in town though... Thats a plus AND a minus in the list of whether to go or not.

Its the city I lived for the last 10yrs of my life and also where I was born, it has always felt like home but I am scared. I had only moved to where I am now because when we split last year I had no where to go...

But now I have nothing here, both of my sisters (who were not very supportive anyways) are moving out of state, my mom doesnt provide ANY support nor does my grandmother (they all live(ed) here where Im at now) I told my dad about my homelessness and he said I could come there.. I do miss home but its a dead town. At least I could be with my dad for the duration of his sickness and not feel like I have abandoned him when he may need me for support, also I know he would hug me and make me feel loved. I could only take what fits in my car and would have to leave everything else in my moms garage. Why does life have to be such a *****?