I messaged my ex telling him I can't be friend because I'm seeing someone and it may be detrimental to that relationship. And that I don't want to mess this one up. And as far as being friends I sometimes feel that when I've forgiven and let go of the past that its ok to start over. I do believe he wants to get back together so yes underlying motives. I guess I can't really see myself hanging out and being buddies. And he stressed me out and triggered my bipolar quite badly. I got so depressed I cldnt eat and lost 30 pound in 3 month. I can't go through that again. It is bad timing. Everytime things like this happen its at the worst possible moment