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I would think you would cope by remembering that your mother is your mother. You may not approve of her actions, but she is a human being and makes mistakes. I am not trying to justify or rationalize her actions, but remember you know a lot about what is going on, but I sincerely doubt if you know the whole story.
I completely understand your point of view. It's hard to seperate mom from wife or woman. You're a young woman yourself now. Certainly you can see that if she does leave your father, that relationship is exclusive from yours and hers. Being hurt and angry is normal.
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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