Have you ever been so unsure of yourself?
I am unsure of myself on several fronts.

First, my therapist is retiring. I wish she weren't. She gave me the name of someone else she was sure would work for me. I just went today... but the fit didn't seem right.
Here is where I usually go on intuition. My intuition is very strong.
First of all the office where the new T is, is grimy. Everything is dirty and worn and it smells mildewed (basement office). Even the bathroom doorknob was broken. It just bothered me. Am I being picky? The T seems ok. But she is very quiet and soft-spoken. I feel like I am at a time in my life where I need someone louder and more forceful. I know one can be forceful and soft spoken but... again just my intuition.
I know I should go back a second time, just to verify... to give this new T a second chance, but I don't want to. I want to cancel my second appointment and just find someone else. Am I being to quick to judge? (I know my current T would say yes). I know that no T is perfect and things always need to be worked out. Mostly, the environment bothers me. I mean, I can't tell her to change her office. Sigh.

Second. I have a very old friend who is kind of driving me nuts.
Every time we get together she seems on edge, or very over-tired. I know she is battling depression. She is on meds but I think maybe her current dose or mix of meds may even be adding to her sleep problems. And she won't go ask her pdoc about it. She hardly sleeps at night but rather during the day mostly. Lately she has been even more wrapped up in herself and her problems. I know everyone has problems so that isn't the issue. The issue is that she is refusing to get any help. I keep asking her if she will go to the doctor or find a new therapist but she says she's tired of therapy and just doesn't want to right now. In the meantime I know she is suffering because of it and she is doing little, self-harming things, or self-involved things that I can't do anything about and just make me feel mad or worried. I just can't help her anymore and any time I spend with her I spend feeling annoyed, aggravated, or hurt or extremely disappointed that she is not taking better care of herself. She has excuse upon excuse. But the one that really throws me over the top is that she has to live the high life. She doesn't want to change because she likes the way she is living right now because she is able to buy the fancy stuff she wants! We're talking brand name shoes and designer bags. What an odd priority. Is this a reason to neglect yourself? Ugh.
She called me last night and asked if I wanted to hang out. This is the second time she has called. I know I should confront her but I don't know how... and I don't even know if I'm right in doing so.

It's like I have this very strong intuition. But I also don't trust myself.

Thanks for reading my long rambling post.

E