Garden Gal,

I suppose all I can say right now is that I can really relate to the feelings you describe.
You did not mess anything up...
Keep taking care of yourself. It is the most important thing.

Just know that I am thinking of you and sending you many, many good thoughts and wishes.
I know the awful hurt you are talking about.
I don't know if you have ever tried it... but maybe some acupuncture might help temporarily...

E