Junerain - whats the name of that book? im reading the road less traveled by Peck and although ive just started it has already given me some insights.

SJD - i agree with what everyone has stated here - there is a behavioral modification therapy called Dialectical Behavior Therapy that works well for people that have borderline tendencies (and frankly lots of other folks too) and there are 4 areas to focus on - if your black and white thinking is your biggest stumbling block then the emotional regulation and distress tolerance modules would be where i would start

so glad you posted - take care and let us know more