I have to agree with Perna here. You definitely need to look for actions and not just listen to words. I've been in this situation from both angles, originally I had a bf who had recently divorced and was constantly claiming to want to see his daughter, but when it really came down to it, he always had excuses for not seeing her. Unfortunately, I was EXTREMELY stupid and stayed with him and ended up having a child with him too (yes, I know, this is insanely stupid on my part... ). Anyway, now he has not seen his daughter for about 6 years. He hasn't paid child support for the daughter since he and I were together (about a year and a half), that's been nearly 8 years. My son (he's the sperm donor) has only recently spent time with him and my son is 9. My ex has NEVER paid child support for my son, rarely--I mean he will go for more than 12 months at a time--sees my son. BUT, here's the kicker, if you were to meet him and ask him about his kids, he would immediately go into this impassioned rant about how both of us mothers keep the kids from him. How all he does is work and try but nothing seems to ever go right for him. He's one big sob story, but produces zero action when it comes down to it.

Obviously, you may actually have a guy who is what he says, but don't disbelieve the ex just because she's on the side of the "bad guy" in this situation.