I am a mom of 5 and have had this same experience..for me, I immediately reacted in anger because it was a way of protection for me. A sense of control, when I was feeling totally out of control...I adore all of my children and when they got hurt, were frustrated, or anything that had to deal with them emotionally, I first reacted in anger..I was abused as a child and for me I was not allowed to have any feelings..Anger is something that I can feel powerful with in a powerless situation..If my children hurt, then I will hurt immensely, so I would get angry first, be less than comforting and then feel remorseful, hug and love them..It has take me time and effort, but I now deal with painful and overwhelming situations with my kids with patience and understanding, even though I may be feeling out of control..Please dont beat yourself up over this, I use to..I would really not like myself for not being the mom I desired to be...With guidance and time I have learned why I would feel the way I did, and slowly but surely changed my reactions..here listening and caring...