Thank you very much, all, for the welcome and the insight. I've been talking to a girlfriend on the phone about this since I posted and she also allowed for the possibility that I'm burned out after all the parent-child conflicts that preceded this injury each and every day, 24-7. She was able to justify this response in a million and one ways but the bottom line is that I don't want this response, justified or not. That's not an accurate portrayal of how much I love my daughter, how truly wonderful I think she is and how deep my devotion to her. I just want a new script. But to respond to the individual posts......Silver, I know exactly what you mean, as crazy as it sounds. That's how it all feels, that's how it all plays out. Ozzie, this is my response to pain not caused by something I did too. But you made me think about that KD, I agree that anger and fear are closely related, especially since they carry alot of the same physiological symptoms. I will definitely try the self-talk, have found that to be a useful tool in the past to change behaviors so thank you for that reminder. Climbingkit, You definitely pointed out a feeling at the heart of this which is a loss of control. I know I can't make her pain instantly go away, can't undo and rewind and start over, don't have the medical expertise to instantly assess and discard what isn't happening from what is happening. But I believe I should be able to draw her to me and give immediate comfort, show some compassion and not literally add insult to injury. Another responder here asked if this was a learned response......perhaps. I know that for a stretch of two years I was babysat by two seemingly uncaring people. My aunt would respond to a hurt MAYBE with a pat on the back, if she responded at all but usually she was irritated. My uncle was extremely militant and pain was an embarrassment. To this day, for me, physical pain is very private and I do not like anyone to see me feeling low. I "buck up, quit that bellyaching, quit being wimpy, quit being WEAK." I know I learned to do that. I don't dissociate from the pain, I just bear it out in private and I'm really okay with that now. As a child, when my pain was responded to in those ways, I felt: unloved, unwanted, in the way, insignificant, as an inconvenience. You can imagine where this may have led in my adult life and you'll likely draw the correct conclusion with regard to self-esteem. However, that I remember those lessons and remember the feelings I had when being taught them, makes me want desperately not to pass those lessons on. I'll try and try and try advice and suggestions given here and hopefully find a method that works. I'm not ruling out therapy as I've found it helpful in the past. But if there's a "home remedy" available to me, that would be my first stop. So know that I'm taking your suggestions and will put them to use and see if I can't make this particular shortcoming go away. Thank you to all and please keep the ideas coming!