Hang in there on the Seroquil. i took it for a few years and it made me really groggy at first but aftera few weeks, that got a whole lot more managable. I also took mine at night and it helped me sleep.
About not knowing who you are... you are still the same person you always were you're just more special because you have Bipolar! Look at it this way, Anything that you have done over the past 20 + years that you have maybe wondered why you did it, now you know. I agree about educating yourself about this illness. It will make you feel better! Sending hugs your way!