You are not a total failure. People who are stay at home parents or housewives/husbands don't contribute financially to their households but are still very valuable.

Did your partner actually say all those things about you? Or are some of the negative ideas actually ideas in your head? My T always tells me not to make up stories about what my husband is thinking/meaning. I am most susceptible to making up the negative stories when I am depressed. Your partner may have just been blowing off some steam about being the wage earner and didn't mean to imply anything about you at all.

I hope the evil depression leaves you alone soon. You are valuable and a good person.

HUGS.