Just reading this makes me want to relapse... I have had such a hard day and now it seems like that would just feel so good.. However, I learn to control it. I have not SI'ed in a little over a year now. I am so much happier that I don't have to hide the scars. You can still see them if you look close, but they are not as visible as fresh ones. I don't know what to tell you, other than it doesn't solve anything.. No one could help me with my problem, I just had to tell myself that I couldn't keep doing it. I guess what really drove me from it was that the last time I did it, I nearly passed out. I thought I would have to go to the Hospital because I had so many cuts that were gushing blood. I did not feel any pain while it was happening, and it in fact felt great. Until after the fact. I had pain for the next week, and on. I couldn't get the pain to stop, it was like I was being punished for punishing myself. It kept me from doing it again, so that I didn't feel the pain the next week after, and so that I didn't have to hide the scars so much. Now I can wear short sleeve t shirts and most of the time no one notices. A few have, and if they ask I am not afraid to tell them, because I now know that I gave that up and am a better person because of it. I wish the best for you. Two weeks is progress, I could barely go a day without doing it before. You can do it, I have faith in you. Now that you feel the guilt that I knew so well when I did it, you can turn that guilt into anger and into passion. Use it so that next time you are talking about your SI, you can say that you have not done it in over a year, not just two weeks. Think about that, and it feels good. Take care buddy.