My partner arranged everything for us to take a 10 day trip to a home we own in Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica. The plan was to take his niece, who had just graduated high school. But, I knew that it was also the work of my mother, my partner, and my friends, to just get me out and about in a place that I find total relaxation.

It turned out that on August 5th, I remembered that the next day would be our 16th Year Anniversary. Sixteen years since we said yes to the commitments we had discussed and worked out; this to ensure that we were not trying to change the other person. So we discussed children, he said no, I said yes, but, the relationship was stronger. I would never try to change his mind, and I have many very special young people in my life. The next day came, and I totally forgot. We had an early morning sailing tour to see the dolphins and other ocean life, such as a very large man-o-ray eel. (As a avid scuba diver, I have never seen one that close to the surface.). But, the treat, the gift came next. We came alongside a mother humpback whale and her calf. We sailed about 30 meters from her. After about 30 minutes, as if to say good-bye, she and her calf crossed in front of us and the mother came up and then dove down fast, so her tale came up and we could see that it was bigger than what we were sailing on. It hit the water as if to say, good-by. And, they were gone.

It was then, that I remembered that it was our anniversary. I told his so, and he said, he knew that it was and that he was hoping for some sort of gift from the sea to me. I believe I got quite a gift, as did all of us on the boat.

Still, I am embarrassed that I forgot it. Yet, all was okay. For the 8th was the one year anniversary of my oh so close suicide attempt. It came and went as any day does in such a wonderful place. I was at peace and that felt very good. If only I could hold on to that feeling. But, I have time, I have help, I have this and other forums. I feel positive.

THOUGH - I can not, and I am an advanced computer and software user, figure out how to change the mood selector. I click on the scroll bar, but I don't see any moods unless I double or triple click and it isn't the mood I am in, so I keep trying, and now, it has won. I think I got it back to saying nothing. Must be me, but, hey, it brings a smile, that is a nice way to end a night.