Hi! Welcome to psychcentral. I'm sorry for the suffering in your life. When a human experiences a trauma where your life is endangered, or you sense it could be... something beyond your control... it CHANGES the chemicals in your brain and causes the brain to "misfile" the memory. It is a definite physical reaction... the sooner someone gets into treatment (thus the "debriefing tents" at trauma sites for the workers, and the military emphasis on group therapy of soldiers who experienced similar events?) the better and sooner the brain learns where to "file" the memory.

I'm not sure someone who hasn't experienced this can understand beyond "knowing" they won't fully understand it. . . and no one would want another to "know" in that respect.

IMO your idea of not worrying so much to understand it is good. Try to accept that "some things are just that way" and move on, accept that it happens ...the reactions and distorted thinking in your opinion that you see no "reason " for.... and continue. Consistent regard will give good support as work is done to adjust and move through therapy.

Again, welcome!