SAWE >> The ability to have a reciprocal relationship is damaged. I am happy to give, but it's so hard, if not impossible, to allow myself to accept from another.
[quote=rainbow8;1459029]Then, allowing yourself to accept from T is what will be healing for you, and what you can gain from therapy.

No, precisely because I am prevented from reciprocating. IRL it's difficult to accept from another because I know the bill is coming someday, and eventually it does - or I run - with T I cannot run without quitting therapy, and there is No Reciprocation Allowed, and it's not healing me as far as I can tell. I still spiral out, as I would IRL, and then I also have to deal with the guilt of having accused T, internally or even verbally, of manipulation, etc.

No she is not at all a blank screen, she's (from what I hear on PC) unusually open. it did feel like a rejection. But did I bring it up in the monent, nooooooo of course not but I should have, you're right.

One more thing to talk about next time