(((((((((((((((((((((((((((( dear peaches ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

your post made me wince, and smile with recognition at the same time, but my heart sighs with you.

Yesterday I told T that when we got to the point where my "story" was finally pretty much told, I somehow decided that we were now out of the painful times, and it was chilling that she echoed my words with soft amazement.
Apparently I was wrong.

Well, here's how I figure it: in therapy we look at the heavily ingrained behavior, and try to change it, and that's painful. Stretching those cramped up "muscles" is painful; and any teenager can tell you that growing itself is painful.

So yes it hurts more than I could have ever thought, in ways I never suspected, but yes I definitely think it's worth it and I am daily more grateful for the chance, unlike any other I've ever had.

The unexamined life was what I had before... and good ole Socrates was right, it really isn't worth living.