I am beginning to think that the reason for re-feeling the pain is that before you re-feel it, you just spend all your time blocking it and trying to avoid it, so that you can't really see things clearly, and so you tend to remain stuck in lousy patterns. It's like, once you allow yourself to feel the pain, you do realize that it won't destroy you, and then you can look at it, and yourself, and your patterns, more clearly. And that makes you more able to consciously choose more constructive and appropriate behaviors.

(At least that's my thinking at the moment.)

-Far