Back from T....

It went ok....We talked a little bit about my email, and T recognized that what I was trying to do was re-establish contact with him and instead I got fear of separation....so he understood better what I was going through.

He then delved into my relationship with my friend, trying to get me to see that she is unhealthy for me and that I need to start distancing myself from unhealthy relationships, just like I have with my ex-husband.

We then got into the realization....and I could barely touch it....I kept disassociating, and T was trying to get me to understand that I don't need to relive it - and he was trying to get me to maintain contact with him, telling me to look at him - which I did, but would lose contact often....UGH.

He then pushed to understand what I need in order to get to a place of peace with what happened. I became so frustrated because I don't know!!!

I told him that I am tip-toeing around it - and he said that it's a start, now being at the surface....and he was concerned with me being away for a couple weeks, asking what we are going to do with it. He wanted to know if I was willing to make this the first thing we talk about at my next session, and I agreed.

Tough session....