thank you .. i do have to let go, i guess i miss the lifestyle i was living at the time,not him,,,i am very hurt that the two closest people in my life at the time could do this,but i know i didnt want the relationship the way it was anyway..they are a very unhappy couple,it is like they bring the selfishness and hatefulness out in each other even more than b4.i feel bad for feeling good about how unhappy they really are..so yes she can have my leftovers , i just miss the image of a happy family(even if it wasnt so happy) i do not speak badly of him to the children they can see it for themselves..yes he is very shallow,.THANK YOU ALL i just needed someone to listen and acknoledge my pain...i can move on it has been 4 years,but i just got the divorce papers monday and brang out some emotions...hope you all have a good evening