Hello. I am a 25 years old female. I am very confused about my sexuality. I am not sure if i am really a lesbian. I always seem to find myself very attracted to older women that aren't able to have any type of relationship due to ethical reason. They are always my previous therapist, professors, librarian. They are all already married, not attracting to the same sex and some have children. I am not sure whether i am looking for a mother figure in those women (I can't get along well with my mom at all, we always have fight, argument and we just hate each-other, despite living at the same house). Whenever i find myself feeling attracted to those women, i became very confused about my feeling toward them. I long to be with them romantically, physically, maybe even sexually. I want to kiss them, to hold them and to touch them. I also wish they could be my surrogate mom, so they can give me the nurture, love, affection i deprive from my mom. I feel so tormented by the confusion and i become severely depressed and suicidal over this. I don't know what to do. Therapy is so difficult due to my non-stop attachment and attraction toward those female therapist.