Actually I think it's trying to force itself in.

I have been taking my meds regularly, only skipping one day when I had food poisoning a few months ago. Been rockin' a lithium level of 0.65 consistently. Any more lithium and my tremor gets out of control, and I get digestive problems. Bad ones- can't poop 5 times in one work shift!

I am just a loser with no friends and will be that way forever. I am talking with my T about really heavy stuff, the main issues that ended up triggering my bipolar in the first place. Now I feel the depression lapping at my feet like waves at the beach. I get panic attacks for stupid stuff. I get really anxious over dumb stuff. I feel depression sucking me under and I don't know how to stop it.

I just fought off a weird sleep pattern thanks to Lunesta...and now here is the depression. I wonder if the sleep issues were a warning call? Because I was not manic in the least, I was TIRED. Manic me feels GREAT with no sleep. Now my insurance company wants me to use generic Ambien instead of lunesta. I need stuff to keep me asleep, not fall asleep....