I can appreciate the notion of going through the pain again to "settle" ones struggles with some things.-- and I also agree with RiverX--
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But I think its what kind of pain. There is a difference between pointless reenactments, and a healthy pain of facing emotional truth in an honest way in order to work through.
Yes, Ive had that endless recycling of hurt feelings, and no, I dont believe it should be like that.
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so I think it depends on the kind of pain and the situations ....
Peaches-- I had a T. that was similar to yours-- except he was a male. He didn't answer or would take long to answer my emails sometimes, he was cold sometimes and yet so loving other times- it felt VERY scary to me
(the mother was not predictable-- being one way one time and then different another time was/is too much for me to cope with-- I think I deeply need consistancy. I had no one my whole childhood/early adulthood to lean on- my trust is very fragile) Such a therapist as him only gave me proof that people really are callous and confusing and will care only when/if it suits their fancy...... after almost 3 years off and on with that therapy, I quit.
I was beginning to think NO ONE was very kind-- heck if a therapist is hurting me and confusing me then how can I EVER expect anyone else to be any different... how can I ever feel "safe" with others.
I'm now with a new therapist-- and she is... is... I can't even find the words... and I'm kind of scared also-- coz I don't want to jinx it-- but she is so unconditionally caring and kind and VERY consistent! She loves when I give her little gifts or when I write a poem. We trade books to read... it's like a NICE sister I always wanted
I can scarcely believe it most times...like I'm in a dream. I've never ever had anyone so compassionate and consistent in my life, understanding, such a good listener. I am finally feeling a bit safe.....
it's scary and yet kinda nice too.
I'm so so sorry you're having such struggles
, I can hear your pain and almost futility. I don't know what the answer is for you-- to keep going or what-- I just wanted to share my experience in case it would help in some way.
Sometimes I just don't see how going through some sorts of pain is healing... I still don't know about that.....
or maybe it's me and I'm just too "fragile" for some kinds of therapists....
fins