Awww, Amazonmom, NOT a loser! NOT AT ALL!!! Boy, do your thought patterns on this sound familiar... (they play in my theatre too...). Depression really messes hard with our sense of reality.
Maybe a med adjustment, like you mentioned or... maybe shelve some of the heavier stuff for awhile. Seems to me that going in full-bore with the really hard stuff only really works when we can handle it. Maybe others disagree, I don't know. But you can always come back to it later, right?
Meanwhile, sending you big