thank you both very much...i am trying very hard to keep my committment to myself to get treatment..i have my first appointment to be evaluated next thursday and my mind is full of worry,,,of anylizing myself and the choices i have made and the people in my life...if i can actually go and talk...i know which people in my life are toxic i just cant make or let them go...i know alot of my anxiety now is due to my relationship with my boyfriend of four years..i fear what anxiety awaits if i can get out,,ive never been single(2 relationships in 22 years)....again thank you ...trying hard :/