Every since I can remember I've felt distinctly different from the people around me. Back in school I wasn't energetic and outgoing - as everyone else apparently was - but timid, shy, didn't enjoy going out and had little interest in the other rituals of adolescence (alcohol, drugs, parties, sex. Well, okay, maybe I harboured a little interest for that last one).

I left school at 16 because I could no longer face being around people my own age, could no longer face studying, could no longer face a world that appeared increasingly harsh and uncaring. Frustratingly I was bright enough and perfectly capable of achieving things, but any promise I had was to go unfulfilled. Eventually I was forced to work and spent four years in office jobs that sapped the very soul from me.

Now I'm 24. Haven't worked for three years as I'm so mentally fragile, have no significant education, no skills, no desire to be part of a world I feel so utterly detached from. But that hurts because I dearly wish I did want to have a life - the stigma of my current existence weighs heavy and my years and years of lost youth still pain me. Two years of therapy have proved largely fruitless, with my therapist still (understandably perhaps) insistent on "small steps", the prospect of which depresses me yet further. I want - no, need - a BIG step please, and I need it NOW. My isolation is absolute; I'm simply unable reach out to anyone, whether in the "real" world or on the internet, where every type of person from every corner of the planet is within touching distance.

And so there's the abridged version of my life up to this point. In the interests of retaining the attention of a few people I have omitted just a few details. For those that made it this far, thank you for listening.

Sigh. Why does fighting it seem so damn futile?