justaman,

Remember always that depression will do that to you. It distorts your thinking, always looking for the most negative interpretation of any event or situation. You can't judge your life by comparing it to the accomplishments of others, depression will always find a new low for you to settle into. Find a cure for an illness? Someone will find a cure for a worse illness and win the Nobel Prize for it. Write something you are proud of? Someone else will write something and win the Pulitzer. Well sort of extreme examples but I hope you know what I mean.

So hang in there and work on relieving the depression, once you can do that I think you will see a lot of opportunities that were easily dismissed before.

And you are not at all too old for martial arts. Any place that teaches should have children's and adult classes, in the adult classes I am sure you will find people who are much older than you. It is good for your health, good excersize. If you stop yourself from doing things you want to because you think you will look silly, you can use that as an excuse for anything. I'd bet some of those Nobel prize winners started off with research that other people thought was silly.

Why am I so hung up on the Nobel Prize today???