Hi, I read your post yesterday but wanted to think about my reply. Maybe replying to you will help me in my own confusion, too! I hope this is a bit useful to you.

Firstly, it's perfectly fine and possible to feel sexual attraction toward women without being a lesbian. I think a lot of women have quite fluid sexualities anyway, and it's not always useful to label yourself. A question my friends asked me when I was talking about my confusion was: who most commonly features in my sexual fantasies or dreams? Thinking about that helped me.

Sorry to hear that you don't have a good relationship with your mum. I have heard girls say similar things about their fathers - that they're looking for a father figure in a relationship because their own wasn't around, or other things. It's not half as confusing without sexuality to consider on top! Everyone needs to get nurture, love and affection from somewhere; where we go wrong is thinking that one, special person can provide all of that. Would it be useful and possible for you to request a different therapist?

Also, the women you are attracted to seem to often be unattainable. I hope using myself as an example here isn't too weird/self-centred, but the same applies to me - I'm rarely attracted to women I can actually get, because I don't want them. I'm sexually attracted to women but I don't want to be in a relationship with one because I am still trying to convince myself that I'm totally straight and will marry a man one day. So I wondered how you would feel about being a lesbian were it not for the issues with your mum - does it make you feel uncomfortable or is it something you have considered before and don't have a problem with now?

I hope this is a bit useful and not patronising or anything! I considered myself as well; in any context it is hard to come out as anything, even bisexual. Best wishes.